their was once a time i had coffee with the King every morning. it wasn't easy waking up before the kids, the husband, the chickens and yes, even the sun. i was coaxed out of bed before dawn by the lure of a small one cup coffee maker on my bedside table. the clock would scream its usual "GET UP! IT'S TIME! GET UP! SLEEP IS DONE!" and i trained myself to turn it off and press brew. the tiny one cup coffee maker would brew, perk a little and steam almost like an apology for the annoyance of the clock and gently remind me that i had a coffee date to wake up for. every morning, for the longest time i would wake up like this and enjoy my first cup in the quiet of my prayer closet. sipping between repenting. sipping between giving thanks. sipping between asking for help in this and in that, and for him or for her. sipping between sobbing for those who don't yet know the sweet fragrance of the love song that plays in the background of coffee dates such as these.
early morning coffee with my heavenly Father.
so what happened you ask? obviously i'm not keeping this date as of late. no. i am not. i have been standing Him up. standing up the One who calls me beloved and blessed and desires nothing short of communion in spirit and to love on this broken child of His. one who needs desperately to be fixed of all the messy world-wounds, most of which i create myself. mind you, i am not totally neglecting my first Love, but i am reminded that my tithing time away from my comfortable bed, tithing my precious sleep, has been lost and forgotten and even accepted in my desire for more sleep.
not okay. not acceptable.
forgotten in sickness. forgotten in depression. lost in my selfishness. all of which are just the things that close communion with He who is the Creator of all that is seen and unseen, can heal me from and set me forever free from.
standing Him up. ouch! i am sure it hurts His heart by far more than mine and my desire is enlarged 10 fold for morning coffees with my heavenly Father again. for i know beyond a shadow of a doubt that He has been waiting for me. maybe not with coffee in hand at a set destination, but He always desires for us to go deeper with Him. deeper in Him. fall more madly, wildly, passionately in love with He who is Love. waiting and deserving more of me then my meal time prayers. then my while driving prayers. then my doing dishes prayers. then my cry for sanity prayers. a time, set aside for He who is the Great I am.
funny thing is, after a few weeks of waking up this way, i started waking up on my own not even needing the coffee or the alarm clock. surprisingly not even noticing a loss of sleep. as if He enjoyed our time together so well that He just gave me the inner wake up call and enough energy to spare to make it through my day on less sleep. gifted me the urge to wake up and be with Him alone, in the early hours of day. what a wonder...and i am reminded that every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. james 1:17 shifting shadows. am i a shifting shadow? ever changing? not in this. i cannot be.
excuse me, i have an alarm clock and small one cup coffee pot to go set up, for tomorrow i am having coffee with the King.